Friday, November 23, 2012
Lately, I've been having a rough go of it. I've had one friend yell at me over something something my daughter said (which was hilarious and harmless). I put it on Facebook and she went ballistic. I was so taken aback by her viceral reaction I unfriended her - online and in life. Then I had an altercation with another friend, one I've never had quarrel with, regarding my nanny. Both times were really, truly upsetting to me and I'm watering them down for this post. But I feel that in both situations BOTH parties only saw ME as a problem and themselves as a victim therefore no apology was needed for me. In both cases I apolgized the same way: I am sorry you were offended. And I am. But I'm not sorry for what I did: defending myself.
Is it just me or are relationships becoming increasingly difficult to maintain now? Perhaps it's just that both relationships are only 2 years old and I guess I didn't really know either of them. I felt really wrongly accused by both. I am not a mean person, I am generous with my time, my feelings, my hospitality (apparently my nanny as well) and I try to cultivate my relationships with care. I feel that this worked against me in both instances.
At work I am aggressive, it's the nature of the business. I am not afraid to speak out for my clients, myself and for the company where I work. I try to keep that part of me in business but it comes out when I feel at a loss in my personal life.
I was really down for a few days this week, gutted, as the British say. But I need to move on now. As Fen said, 'You don't need this. Stick with people who are good to you.' I think I'll listen to him. He never falls out with friends or has quarrels - then again he doesn't spread himself thin like I do.
As for the rest of the friends I've made here - love 'em all. So many good people to be with, why focus on the ones that made me that unhappy? Moving on...